Kolaveri Girls

 

On November 20, 2009, Heidi Montag underwent 10 excruciating plastic surgery procedures in a single day as part of a drastic secret makeover. The perky blonde claimed afterward that she nearly died in the hours following her operations. Explaining this alleged emergency, the Superficial songstress told reporters: "I had too much Demerol like Michael Jackson did and my breathing was five breaths per minute which is like almost dead," coyly finding a way to link herself to a far more noteworthy celeb. Although she survived, Montag also confessed that she now has difficulty accomplishing even the most rudimentary tasks: “When I first came out, it was so hard for me even to smile and it's still hard for me to chew sometimes," she said.

What would cause a naturally gorgeous 23-year-old to undergo such an extreme physical metamorphosis? The answer, of course, is simple: Fame. Like many of her overexposed peers, Montag has become addicted to being in the spotlight and was willing to do anything to extend her 15 minutes of fame, even if it meant slicing up her supple flesh and potentially dying (or at least acting like she nearly died) in the process.

Fame is no longer a desirable thing

Sadly, she’s hardly alone. This obsessive quest for notoriety has become the most recognizable disease of what we’re calling the “post-achievement age,” and it’s quickly eating away at the fabric of America. Gone are the days when individuals became famous for writing great works of literature, curing fatal ailments or passing legislation. These days any Tom, Dick or Snooki can become an overnight sensation by agreeing to spend a summer behaving squalidly in a Jersey beach house. In fact, with hundreds of cable channels and countless glossy magazines on newsstands everywhere, it’s never been easier to become famous.

Fame has never been less valuable

Therein lies the rub. Because fame has never been more accessible, it’s also never been less valuable. It's time to stop looking at fame as an award for prominent talent, or as any sort of desirable circumstance at all. Fame now is something to be pitied, feared and avoided. What was once the province of great thinkers and doers is now a detestable bauble given to nobodies in exchange for a license to shame them publicly. It is the territory of disturbed young women like Miss Montag who mutilate themselves in order to promote albums purchased only as joke gifts. Make no mistake about it, fame has become the new “F” word, and it’s every bit as filthy as the term it replaced.